How does one know if they are marring into a dysfunctional family?
- Spend time with the family unit. How does the mother and father communicate?
- Is anyone in the family addicted to alcohol or drugs?
- What is the mother or father’s past home life?
- What is the families recreational activities?
- How do the other children in family, if there are any, interact within the family? Or is your partner the only child?
- What are your potential partner’s idiosyncrasies?
When you take me into your world, know that I have opened the door to mine. Give and take is not optional, it is mandatory. Some give all and others can only give small portions, small bits and pieces at a time. The gift is in the giving, not the portions. And, if given in truth, should hold equal value and appreciation. At that time, it is all that can be given! Patience is also mandatory! As we reach for that universal emotion, LOVE, we often fail to realize that we all have a past. Now is the time for acceptance! Remember, never step on a heart that you might live in.
When the Mind Seeks and the Heart Speaks
The journey of life is awesome, so rewarding, yet heart breaking at times. You will traverse through heaven & hell, good times, hard times, and bad times. Your journey will include the good the bad and the ugly. Those who love you, use you, and some will abuse you. You will win some and lose some. All will be lessons of great value, all in its time and place. Every road, every person along the way has something to share with you . . . will win some and lose some. All will be lessons of great value, all in its time and place. Every road, every person along the way has something to share with you . . . there is a reason for these crossroads, and a season for all. As hard as some roads may be, the most difficult is the road into SELF. This is when the mind seeks and the heart speaks. Here you will find your freedom, your truth.
When two people from dysfunctional families fall in love it could partly because they feel comfortable in a situation like the ones they know. Often, they only find themselves back into a place they thought they were free from. Not knowing how this came about and they start looking for a way out, forgetting or abandoning the love they felt for each other in the beginning. Yes, that “Flight or Flee” is a normal feeling coming from this atmosphere, a circle you will repeat over and over again if you don’t do the work to break the circle.
What is this work you say? Communications! We have been taught that you don’t talk about this type of problem, keeping it to yourself, you will likely be stepping back into that role over and over again. If you can be honest with each other and try to be supportive and understanding a much brighter wonderful life could be yours.
I’m not trying to make light of the situation for it will take two considerate, concerned, patient people in love who want to recover and have a happy, fulfilling life. Love is the glue and, since most of us have not really learned to love, it will take persistence to overcome this desire to flee. It will take one able to show love possibly more than the other but in return the other begins to learn to love. With this show of love hopefully the one showing love will have a gratification that possibly they have never felt before and this could sustain their love.
Did I hear this in a song somewhere? Many songs of heartache are written about these painful situations we face. Why, because most of the song writers are like us; the ones feeling unloved, lost in a world that we can’t seem to make better. You see most who come from dysfunctional families have learned more about the world outside our doors and have the capabilities to do far more than those who have not experienced dysfunctional living. Even to write beautiful love songs. It is inside of us to love; we only need to learn how to make it work for us not against us.
This is my first time to blog, to openly write straight to the point rather than telling of my heart breaks as stories, book. Coming from a dysfunctional family has created in me abilities and perceptions that hopefully I can share with many. I want to show how to make our experiences create a new and satisfying life with confidence that we are people who know people and can use this for our benefit; to make a happier life and bring that merry-go-round to stop and let us off.